


Fire Safety

by lanthano (epilanthanomai)



Category: Kitchen Confidential
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-09
Updated: 2017-06-09
Packaged: 2018-10-30 04:54:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10869519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/epilanthanomai/pseuds/lanthano





	Fire Safety

Jim's deglazing the 39th saltimbocca of the evening when he sets the kitchen on fire. Seth's whisking lemon curd and muttering about marzipan, but he looks up long enough to bemoan the loss of mozzarella di bufala to the world. He says, "Little Italian children indentured to cheesemakers suffered to make that mozzarella, we pay more than your salary to ship it here, and you're just throwing it away?" then goes back to his lemon curd, whisking the way Mother Teresa might comfort a dying leper. Meanwhile, Jim, whose eyebrows haven't grown back yet, and who's still a little leery of open flames, darts a look behind him to see if Jack's noticed yet. No, not yet. He and Steven have their heads together by the walk-in, and while Jim's watching, Steven starts cackling hysterically. He puts his hand down his pants and Jim turns back. He's safe for a bit, then.

So he's watching this fire, and it's pretty, really, this mellow blue, cheery little yellow that's spreading from his station toward a dish of prepped fennel. The sage he was using goes up in a little smokey offering, sweet and green and just like when that Wiccan girlfriend he had in eighth grade—

"Fire!" Cameron yells, and if his voice slides up an octave no one's really noticing because they're all turned around now and staring at Jim's little fire, which if he's honest isn't so much a little fire anymore. Except, it's not everyone staring, because right then Jack and Steven are coming out of the walk-in with identical smirks. Jack's face is suspiciously pink. Steven is wiping his hands on his apron. Jim's sleeve catches fire. He shrieks, Steven pats it out with his hands, and it's then that, clutching his eyebrows, Jim faints dead away.

When he comes to, Seth is lobbing marzipan mice at Steven, who is alternately batting them away and biting their heads off. Jack's going on about honeyed dormice. The fire's out, mostly, and from where he's lying, he's got a great view of that corner by the walk-in that Jack and Steven are always disappearing into. He puts his head back down. Maybe he'll get lucky and Steven will rile Jack up again.


End file.
